Last month, my wife and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and she commemorated the special milestone by writing the blog “A Wife’s 20 Lessons From 20 Years of Marriage” to share some of the many things she’s learned. After two decades of marriage and six children together, it’s safe to say I, too, have learned a number of valuable lessons that have honestly helped me in my mission to be the best husband to Nadine. I’m hoping this helps and encourages other husbands out there who are trying to be the best for their wives.
1. No matter what anybody says, your wife wants you to lead. My wife wants to feel cared for and secure. When I lead properly, it frees her up to be the best wife and mother she can be.
2. Never be too “manly” to say I’m sorry. If you mess up, take responsibility for your actions and apologize.
3. Women are STILL complicated. 😊 After 20 years of marriage I thought I would have it figured out, but once in a while, she throws me a curveball to bring me back to reality.
4. Continue to date your wife.
5. Learn your wife’s love language. I thought I was in good shape because I have an idea what my wife’s language is, but after I read the book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, it made things very clear and tangible and helped me to be more intentional about showing love to my wife in the way she best receives love.
6. Don’t underestimate the power of a vacation.
7. You don’t have to win every argument. Leave your ego at the door.
8. Take the time to listen. There is a tremendous difference between hearing and listening. One of the most important things I’ve learn is to really listen and respond to my wife during conversations as opposed to just hearing.
9. Make her interests, your interests. Be excited about her passions. Why? Because you love to see her happy.
10. Contribute around the house. It means more than you think.
11. She spends time in the mirror to look good for you, so compliment her.
12. Always trust your wife’s intuition.
13. The woman you married will NOT be the same woman after 20 years. (That’s a good thing). We were so young and immature when we first got married. Through our relationship with Christ and our life experiences, we have learned and grown in such a way that we are so much better because of it.
14. Don’t be the party of NO. It’s discouraging to always have your ideas shot down. Be flexible with your wife and recognize that your way is not the only way.
15. Take time during your day to let her know you LOVE her.
16. Don’t let parents interfere with your arguments; they tend to take sides.
17. It’s OK to have disagreements. You just need to learn how to manage and resolve them.
18. Study the Word and Pray together. Make it a part of your routine.
19. As your life partner, your wife will help you to grow more than you ever imagined. #betterman
20. I’ve learned how to be a better sharer of my food, especially when eating out. Somehow my plate always looks better to her. 😊