“I’ll stay as long as I’m happy.”
We’ve all heard it. Some of us have even said it.
But if that’s the foundation of your marriage—we need to talk.
In this episode of A Purpose Driven Marriage, we unpack a question that every couple needs to answer:
👉 Are you showing up in your marriage like it’s a contract… or a covenant?
It’s more than semantics.
It’s a mindset that influences everything—your communication, your conflict, your intimacy, your commitment, and your legacy.
🚫 The Contract Mindset: Conditional, Transactional, and Insecure
Culture has normalized what we call “contractual marriages.” These relationships are built on conditions:
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“I’ll do my part if you do yours.”
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“If my needs aren’t met, I have every right to leave.”
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“As long as I’m happy, I’ll stay.”
Sounds reasonable, right? But this mindset creates insecurity, emotional distance, and shallow roots. Duane said it best during the episode:
“A contract mindset makes me feel like there’s always a back door open.”
And when there’s a back door, we hold back.
We protect instead of pursue. We defend instead of connect.
✅ The Covenant Mindset: Secure, Self-Giving, and Purpose-Driven
Biblically, marriage is a covenant—a sacred, unbreakable promise between husband, wife, and God.
It’s not “I’ll stay if…”
It’s “Even if… I’m still here.”
It reflects Christ’s love for the Church: sacrificial, unconditional, enduring.
(Ephesians 5:25–33, anyone?)
We talk about:
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How covenant love builds trust and deep emotional intimacy
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Why it fosters security—even when one spouse is struggling
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What it looks like in everyday moments (yes, even during conflict over socks and dishes 😅)
💬 This Isn’t Just for Christians
If you’re not a person of faith, this episode is still 100% for you.
Because even outside the biblical lens, research proves covenant-style commitment works better:
🧠 Dr. John Gottman’s studies found that the healthiest, longest-lasting marriages are built on:
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Commitment
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Shared purpose
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Emotional responsiveness
📊 The National Marriage Project at UVA confirms that couples who view marriage as a sacred, lifelong union—not a consumer contract—report higher satisfaction, better communication, and stronger intimacy.
🎧 Ready to Listen?
Click below to tune in now:
👉 Listen to: “Is Your Marriage a Contract or a Covenant?”
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